It’s been a stressful week.

I just realised it’s only Wednesday.

Well, shit.

Well, no, it’s actually okay now. Basically I went to see my consultant in October and he said he would send me for a gastroscopy in January, but not bother with a sigmoidoscopy this time around. At the end of December I got an appointment through for this coming Friday.

Last Thursday I had a package delivered to my parents’ house. There was a card through the door because the package didn’t fit through the letter box nobody was home. How odd, I thought. I hadn’t ordered anything. I was confused and beginning to think someone had sent me a gift.

On Friday my parents picked up the package and it turned out to be an appointment for a sigmoidiscopy, with an enema thing inside. Ick. Already stressed out about the gastroscopy, the prospect of another invasive appointment panicked and upset me a lot, because I wasn’t expecting it at all. I was at work and on the phone to my dad when I found out (my parents can open my mail sometimes, it’s cool) so I called the hospital. I mean, the consultant said he wasn’t going to send me for this. And when I do have both appointments I usually have them at the same time. So maybe it was a mistake. There’s no point in having two appointments, so what I wanted was preferably to not have the sigmoidoscopy at all, and stick with the gastroscopy on Friday. Especially since my boyfriend and I had both taken the day off work so that he could take me.

To cut a long story short, because I’m sick of thinking about the damn thing, apparently I do have to have both appointments, and they don’t have time to do both on Friday. So I cancelled my Friday appointment so that I don’t have to go to two appoinments, because stress. So both of my appointments are now in two weeks, on the same day. It has taken since Friday to sort this shit out. And I’m not happy that I have to have the sigmoidoscopy, but at least I can stop thinking about for a couple of weeks. I hope.

This morning was the first morning since last Thursday that I didn’t cry in my car on the way to work.

I’m tired.