I started writing something tonight (a potential guest blog post) then realised that I’m not in the right frame of mind at the moment to write it. I can’t deal with the subject right now. So I listened to myself, and I stopped. This is progress. Respecting my own feelings and doing the sensible thing for a change. I’ll pick up where I left off another day.
So as per my post about self love last week, every day for eight days now I have been writing down one thing I like about myself, as a way of being nicer to myself. It’s been going pretty well – I’ve at least remembered to do it every day, and I’ve managed to think of something even when I’ve felt uninspired. Here it is:
My Ego Trips
Day 1. I am brave.
Day 2. I am childish. Today at the gym I realised how strange I must look to the other adults in the pool – every one else just swims up and down, and here I am, swimming up and down, but also floating around, twirling, spinning, messing around, just enjoying a quiet pool. I wonder how young I must look sometimes. I love that.
Day 3.I am helpful. Or I try to be. Sometimes. If I can. My work friend says I am, so. Yeah, I try to be.
My butt is hella fine.
I am enthusiastic. I want to do things. I will do things. I am impulsive and impatient.
I am funny. Me and Peter had way fun (yes, way fun) this evening at Tesco, where he kept pulling the shopping basket away so that I couldn’t put my sandwich in. He was looking at magazines at the time and a couple of seconds later he loudly declared “I don’t want anything here!”, dramatically turned around and he and his basket crashed into another customer, and after he apologised we ran
away laughing about how he basically took out a customer. Then at home we were just quoting the Muller Rice bear and I was like “I want to run a marathon but I really don’t want to win a marathon.” And Peter was like “mmmmm” as if he agree and knew exactly what I meant but really he was just quoting a bear and we laughed a lot. And that last bit probably barely (bearly) makes sense to anyone.
I am trying. And not in the way my dad would joke “yeah, you’re very trying”, but as in I’m actually trying at this. Properly. That’s something good, for sure.
I’m definitely going to try to keep going with this exercise. And to continue listening to myself more and doing what I tell myself to. And in the meantime, trying to think of other ideas for restoring my self-confidence.