Remember that game from when we were kids, where the whole point of the game is to not think about the game and when you do, you have to say “I lost the game”, causing everyone around you to also lose the game?
And then after that, all you can think about is the game, even though you hadn’t thought about the game in a long time and the only thing that set you off was thinking “hmm, I haven’t thought about the game in a while, I’ve been doing really well”?
That’s what thinking about my cancer history is like.
It’s a fucking tedious game.
I thought I’d been doing well. I had been doing well. It’s just been a bad week is all. Next week will be better.