I haven’t blogged in a while because I haven’t had too much cancer-related to talk about. But I thought I’d write a quick post about some of things that are happening seven months post-hysterectomy and five months post-whipple. (I can’t believe it’s actually been seven months since my hysterectomy already.)
– Hot flushes are happening, and they are hot! And never useful. They tend to happen when I’m already warm, so it’s not like I was in Iceland in -12 degrees and suddenly like “oh brilliant, I’m having a hot flush, this will keep me toasty!” It’s when I’m under my blanket on the sofa, normal temperature, and suddenly there’s a sun in my torso radiating its beams to every extremity.
– Surgery pain is still a thing. Like, I played badminton a couple of weeks ago and only had one twinge when I exerted myself. But my side hurts after driving or while walking or after a day at work, or after sitting upright for a while. Probably because I’m less careful at those times, or something.
– Hurting myself while sneezing was a thing after my bowel surgery in 2010 and it’s having a comeback. That’s why I may be heard making an “aaachooo-owww” noise.
– Surgery scars, scars from drain sites, and a weirdly mis-shapen tummy that will just never be toned or look great. (But then it probably hasn’t been toned for about 12 years, anyway.)
– Complicated feelings about infertility. This is a great article I can relate to in a few ways. I feel a bit sad and guilty and confused and unreasonably annoyed at people luckier than me.
– A little bit of worry about planning for the future – that if I plan anything good too far in advance, everything will go to shit again before then.
– Upset, surprise and disappointment that I have friends I haven’t heard from for, well, about seven months, since my hysterectomy.
– A little worry that people may not understand that things don’t just go back to normal after cancer and surgery.
– Gratitude, lots of gratitude. I’m doing so well, all things considered – mentally as well as physically, which is surprising. So still a little bit fragile, but generally good.