Sam Alexandra Rose

Writer, researcher, music lover, cancer survivor with CMMRD ("double" Lynch syndrome)

Category: My Non-cancery Life (Page 3 of 4)

the socially awkward cycle

July 28, 2017 / / 0 Comments

I think I feel self-conscious because I’m quiet. It’s not that I’m quiet because I’m anxious – my quietness is making me anxious. I am socially awkward because I am socially awkward. My very nature is doing this to me. What a riveting cycle.

I worry that when I’m quiet people will think I am boring and won’t want to hang around with me anymore. I don’t have any past experience to base this on except for one thing someone said about me and a friend parroted back to me when we were about seventeen. Yet it still makes me paranoid. So, that’s my personal discovery for the day, what was yours? Hopefully something a bit nicer.

Some Personal Thoughts On Linkin Park

July 20, 2017 / / 0 Comments

If I get to bed late tonight it’s because I’m sat watching the one Linkin Park gig I went to on YouTube in its entirety.

It was Projekt Revolution in 2008 at Milton Keynes Bowl, and for some reason we were sat right up on the hill, not in the crowd where I have been for all my other gigs. It was the Jay Z era and he made an appearance, but I wasn’t interested in him. Another friend of mine was there with some other friends – he was closer, but he got hit on the head by a flying bottle near the beginning of their set and spent the rest of the night in the medical tent with a concussion.

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Avoiding that Sunday evening feeling

July 16, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Trying to fight those meh Sunday vibes by remembering that I am empowered to make the choice to go to work in the morning, and by making that choice I will own it and be the best version of me that I can be, whether or not it is appreciated by other people.

I am getting out of bed, making an effort to look sort of decent, and doing all the work I need to do, as best as I can.

I can handle whatever the day throws at me.

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July 3, 2017 / / 0 Comments

I feel the same way about people liking me and wanting to spend time with me as I do about people speaking in Swedish: I accept it, I love it, but I don’t really understand it.

Writing work

January 11, 2017 / / 0 Comments

In reference to my last blog post, it did pass. Sometimes it helps just to stop thinking and let yourself be distracted. So, all is well. In this moment at least, and isn’t that the most important moment?

Today I’ve been at my job, doing a little uni work, and planning my trip to Stockholm this summer. I’ve also put a newsletter subscription form on my site so people can sign up for my latest nonsense, if that’s the kind of thing you like to subject yourself to!

Plus, today I wrote a limerick, which is slightly out of character for me! I’ve put it on my Patreon page, so that makes it even more exclusive. I’m sure my hundreds of patrons (ha) will really enjoy it! If you have a burning desire to read my limerick and other stuff I only post on my Patreon page, $1 per month is a pretty good deal for reading all my gibberish. Join me there!

Straightening out 10 assumptions* people make about me because I’m quiet, none of which are true

November 22, 2015 / / 0 Comments

I’m not shy

I don’t have low confidence

I don’t prefer quiet environments

I am usually quite happy and cheerful

I don’t dislike you (probably)

I’m not bored (probably)

I’m not mysterious or thinking deep thoughts

I don’t need you to speak up for me or talk to other people for me

I don’t need you to help me to be louder or to invite me to talk

Calling me quiet like it’s a bad thing (or doing any of these) does make me want to hit you

*emphasis on the ASS

Add your own to this list in the comments!

Puns

July 21, 2015 / / 0 Comments

Just told a pun so bad my boyfriend kicked over the kitchen trash can in a fit of rage.

This is the closest gif I could find to symbolise it.

The Sims

May 11, 2015 / / 0 Comments

You know you’ve been playing The Sims too much when you hear a baby cry on TV and automatically think “they’d better go look after the baby in a few seconds or the social services lady will come and take it away”.

A Reminder for me

May 10, 2015 / / 0 Comments

Today I was reminded that I’m actually pretty laid back and that most of the time I don’t worry about little things, because the bigger things I sometimes worry about (yanno, like death and shit (sometimes literally shit)) make other smaller worries pale in comparison. Sometimes I forget that’s what I’m all about, and am in need of a reminder – I’m glad I got that reminder today.

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IHadCancer.com Best Cancer Blog Award Winner 2016, Runner-up 2017

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