I am officially seven years cancer-free tomorrow (as far as I know) and yes, I’m still harping on about it.
God, when will she shut up about that? Probably never. But the reason why I’m blogging about it now is because tomorrow is Thursday 27th July and that is the date I had my evil colon of doom removed back in 2010. And I like to mark the occasion, if only with some kind of acknowledgement to myself (and anyone else who may be reading). Celebrating does feel a bit like tempting fate, but I don’t like to let the date just pass me by – and dates are difficult to forget. Like, we all have bad times of the year, probably. When things happened that we’d rather forget, or traumatic things left their mark on a day, a month, and now the months of these subsequent years are forever tarnished with that memory, like a stain that’s soaked through layers and layers of fabric. It might fade over time, but it never goes away. And maybe sometimes we wouldn’t want it to.
Anyway, ‘cancerversaries’. I don’t do anything to celebrate them. I went to Gothenburg on my cancerversary in 2015 but that was purely coincidence. Last year I told my friend that I was celebrating by having a nice soup. This year I’ll be going to work, then in the evening I will be going out with my parents and my friends, because that is what happens on a Thursday in my world. I won’t be mentioning it to my parents, because, well, I don’t talk to them about these things. It feels icky. I dunno. Just can’t do it. Anyway, it will be a normal Thursday, and that is it. And I think in some ways that is the best way to celebrate. Because I am still here and able to do the regular things I enjoy doing (or in the case of work, the regular things I do), and I wouldn’t be able to do those things as much or at all if I was ill, or worse.
And I will leave it there, because I have been in a good place recently. I haven’t had any health problems for a little bit (touch wood), I haven’t had any nightmares or flashbacks or scary thoughts. I mean, I have thought about it, but it hasn’t been too intrusive or overwhelming. I mean, it never really leaves. But I am in a good place right now. My partner is an awesome human, I have good friends I’m having a wonderful time with, my nephew is returning from his travels next week, work is okay, and everything feels like an even better than usual version of normal. So let’s celebrate normality.