The other day I tweeted about trying to be mindful while I am on holiday. I’m in my favourite place in the world, Orlando, Florida, and I know that when I get home my two week holiday is going to feel like a distant memory. When I have gotten home after a holiday in the past, I have felt unhappy to not still be here, and wondered if I appreciated it while I was here. Did I stop and look around enough? Did I take stock of where I was? Did I stop racing around and think about where I was, look at the trees, get up early and enjoy the quiet, listen to all the sounds – the crickets, the park music? Did I smell all the smells – the food, the weirdly sweet smell of the air, the clean smell of the hotel room? Did I appreciate the hot weather, then coming in to the air conditioning? Did I use my time off work to my full advantage?
And when I get home this time, I’m going to tell myself that yes, I did all of those things. I was thinking the other day that if I can tell myself that I enjoyed it and was mindful at the time, then that is the important thing. To know that I was in the moment back then (well, now). But actually, I suppose the most important thing is to be mindful and appreciative of every moment, whether it’s in Florida, at work, at my house, at the shops, with my family, or with friends. The point is to not be longing for the past or worrying about the future, to just be thinking about right now. That’s what you do, rather than worrying about whether you appreciated things before. Appreciate them, then move on to the next moment and appreciate that one, too.
Of course, when you have hospital appointments one after the other and you’re waiting for test results and worrying about whether you’re ill again, some moments don’t seem to deserve your mindfulness. Still, it probably helps the worrying in some ways, so it’s worth trying.
Anyway, that’s not what I logged on to talk about. I haven’t been thinking about any medical stuff, which has been great, and as of now I’m not going to think about it anymore until I get home. I really just wanted to point out to myself that this place is great, and I am living in it, and it is not just a future memory – it’s now. I don’t really know what I’m saying anymore – I just know that when I get home it will feel like this was ages ago. And I suppose I just want it to feel as real as possible for as long as possible.