Note to self: There is a difference between seeing a health problem as something external that is threatening your body, and seeing your body as itself as the problem. Your body is not a threat. The illness/problem is a threat. Your body is on your side.
reasons why my body is awesome:
low blood pressure
very little trouble sleeping
haven’t vomited since January 2011
bones all intact
badass scars
cute dimple at old stoma site
super-efficient waste disposal system
tattoos
clear skin
soles of feet have a pleasing arch
mad hair that sometimes looks pretty good
ambiguously-coloured eyes
back curves in, butt sticks out
boobs
pretty good legs
GREAT hands
ticklish
baby face needs ID for buying alcohol
can smell onion rings cooking at twenty paces
So I’ve been thinking about getting counselling to help with fear of recurrence, self confidence and body confidence stuff, but there are a number of reasons why I’m apprehensive about getting counselling. So I thought I’d try to be proactive in giving myself some self-therapy. I haven’t found much on the internet about how to do this, but the above is a really quick list of a few things I’d like to put in a kind of self-affirmation scrapbook. Other things I thought of after I took the pic were poems I’ve written that I’m really happy with, poems I’ve had published that I’m proud of, and my favourite selfies. I’m not sure if I’m going about this the right way. Like, I could keep adding to the book and read the positive things in it, and use it to identify things I want to change and figure out how to change them as well. I don’t know, what do you think?
Hacked away at my side fringe because hey here’s something about my body I have control over and if it’s shit at least it’s like a scar other people can actually see and I did it and it’s MINE and if I did it badly I’m okay with that because at least it was me who did it.