I found someone who could probably empathise with the loss of my brother, who would know what it’s like to not remember a family member and not be able to grieve… and they are a fictional character! It’s Rodney from Only Fools and Horses, which my partner has been watching recently. I can definitely relate to this conversation, from S2E5: The Yellow Peril. Rodney and Del are sat by their mother’s grave. I bolded the important bit. If anyone else can relate, let me know. That would be sort of nice.

Rodney:

It’s looking a bit tatty nowadays.

Del:

I don’t know, it’s not too bad. It’s bound to be a bit innit, after 17 years? I mean, so would you after standing there for 17 years pigeons and diesel fumes and other mourners stubbing their cigarette ends out on you. I dunno, maybe you could be right. It could do with brightening up a bit. If I added some fiberglass models, of say, an apostle and four cherubims with trumpets, do you think it would alter the effect?

Rodney:

If you added fiberglass models of Snow White and the seven dwarfs you couldn’t alter the effect of that!

Del:

Oi, oi, oi, don’t start getting sacrificial! I don’t know what’s the matter with you Rodney, really I don’t. You seem to have no sense of occasion. You’ve no…tres bien ensembles, as the French say. I mean look at you now, loafing about round your mother’s graveside. Don’t you feel any emotion?

Rodney:

Now look Del, I didn’t know Mum that well, did I? When she died I was just a little nipperoni, all odd socks and eczema! Now you feel a sense of personal loss – me, I just feel cheated.

Del:

I’m sorry Rodney. I should have realized.