Writer, researcher, music lover, cancer survivor with CMMRD ("double" Lynch syndrome)

Tag: poetry (Page 12 of 24)

K

I will ask if you’re okay and give you
permission to tell me the truth,
the whole sorry, harrowing,
despairing, disarming truth
and you’ll give me the same
liberties in return.
I’ll accept your words
as your reality, no judgement.
We are friends who
are free, who
are human
in the most
brutal ways, we
see the things others
avert their eyes from, we
experience life like we’re on
fire, like it’s about to end, like
we’re on the run and we feel
it in our backs, in the
fractures, in the
curl of our spines as
we feel the weight of our
baggage and we fight it, fight it, fight it.
We are young and strong in all the best ways,
we adventure, we have fear, we are
misguided and we don’t care. This is how
we write our stories, with every
step, with every journey,
with every tattoo,
with every exhale.

Confessions of a six year old

1. Sometimes I don’t brush my teeth when
my parents tell me to.

2. Sometimes I daydream when I should
be listening to the teacher.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9. Sometimes I worry I’m not doing enough
naughty things. Maybe I’m supposed to
have more things to confess about.

10. Sometimes I lie to the priest
when I go to confession because
six year olds don’t have very much
to confess at all. I don’t know
why I have to do this and
I’m sorry I came
unprepared and
empty-handed.

Give Up

you know me less and less –
the more I say the less you
say, the less you care, the
more I give up, I give up,
I give up.

And I’m sorry if I haven’t
tried hard enough to
make you understand,
to make you try at all
but it’s exhausting and
gets me nowhere and
you don’t change, and I
can’t change or forget
or get over it – probably
ever – so I give up, I give up,
I give up.

my mother says I am impressive.

my mother says I am impressive.
what does that mean?
I yo-yo between
the ridiculousness of her words
and the incredulity
that she would say something
that she didn’t believe, therefore
it must surely be true.
my mother says I am impressive.
parents are biased.
parents see what they want to see.
parents are wrong sometimes.
but sometimes I still believe her
and want to thank her
for relieving my guilt with her praise.
my mother says I am impressive.

Written on Friday 1st
January, 2016 at 21:50

Dream

Last night I had a terrible dream
I can’t remember what happened
but it left a shadow of itself in my
mind, and I know, I just know
my body owes my brain an apology
for all the trouble it has caused
and are you sorry, body, are you
sorry yet?

Stray Boy

the wheelchair,
the cobbled street.
happy because –
happy.
No reasons
to be seen.
a stray boy
interacting with
nothing.
filthy hair,
head slumped low
but bobbing with
every guffaw.
Small town poverty,
invisible life.
a semi-stoned
shadow lurching
from side to
side in the
dimming
light.

pairs of eyes

If enough people see your scars
do they get any lighter?
if more people know why
there is a cavity
where your bowel should be
does your stomach stick out
a little less?
Is there power in more pairs
of eyes?
I feel better for being known
a tiny bit better.
I feel stronger for standing
up, validated, vindicated,
now that I have ‘come out’
in a sense, as a person who
has been brave, who has
seen things
no pair of eyes should
have to see. Maybe now
I’ll feel a little more free
too, a little more of a
loose cannon, with no
need for explanation.
I should now already be
justified in anything
I say or do about this.
I only hope those new
pairs of eyes can see
that this is a
terrible, and terribly
important part
of me.

searching

searching for someone
who gives a fuck and
isn’t afraid to say so:
sometimes they are
closer than you think,
even if they are further
away than others you
had previously pinned
your hopes on.

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