as a human
I think                 I’ve gotten both better and worse
I have improved
                                  and fucked up
my flaws have multiplied
                  and dissipated
I don’t know anything anymore
the size of my ego
once huge
       is now   s k ew e d
and I don’t know how to go
one way or another.
I don’t want to stay here
midway between nothing
and nothing else.