Sam Alexandra Rose

Author: writersamr

  • words

    I barely found the words to say
    only to find they weren’t worth saying

    (They were just the right words,
    said to the wrong person)

    I can still feel the
    bruises behind my eyes

  • unconvincing

    Today I am very unconvincing.
    Pretending to be happy is
    too exhausting to contemplate
    when I’ve spent all week being
    put in my place.
    It is too hard to answer questions like
    what is left
    who is left
    I’m not so sure now.
    I got it wrong somehow.

  • Sometimes

    Sometimes when I’m trying to write about my experiences
    I stop suddenly and smack myself on the forehead and
    cover my face and just want to scream because
    I can’t believe that this is me.

  • How Writing Has Positively Influenced My Life

    I have written this post for the writing contest: How Writing Has Positively Influenced My Life, hosted by Positive Writer. Click here for more info!

    I’ve loved writing for as long as I can remember. It’s been the only constant thing that I have always wanted to do – thoughts of being a
    teacher, a psychologist, and fleeting fantasies of being an actress or in a band, all came and went. But writing is the only thing that ever stuck, the one thing I’ve never doubted my ability to do.

    (more…)

  • Gardening As It Sleeps

    I have been digging
    so hard
    dirt is all over my face
    and my eyes are damp
    from the strain of it all

    but no-one else can see.

    I have been digging it all up
    heaving it out of the ground
    and throwing it in piles
    all over my garden.
    The soil is soft and it’s easy.
    I make it look easy,
    should anyone be watching.

    They’re not. I do it in the
    dead of night. I’m good at hiding
    it and not even on purpose.
    It just comes naturally to me.
    Dig it up. Turn over the soil.
    Put it back. Plant marigolds
    on top of it. Making a scene
    ain’t my scene. Dig it up.
    Rake over it. Water it with
    whisky. Put it back to bed but
    check on it in the night like
    a parent checking in on their
    children as they sleep. It only
    pretends to be asleep.

  • Difficult writing

    Gotta try to write a difficult thing tonight. I’ve been putting it off because it just hasn’t… come out. I had a difficult conversation with my manager about my medical history this week and I think that took it out of me and now my inspiration is shot to shit. Hoping Jack Daniels is gonna get it outta me tonight because I don’t wanna put it off anymore. Might help if i ever turn off Orange Is The New Black. Write drunk, edit drunk, submit drunk, stop being distracted. #AwesomeWritingAdvice

  • people keep saying

    people keep saying
    how strong I am and
    I’m slowly starting
    to believe them. 

  • Things To Remember

    jam
    tuna
    chicken kiev
    meat paste
    coke zero
    massage @ 5:30pm
    your voice in my head telling me
    I did the right thing.

  • The right words

    Sometimes when you’re trying to say words at someone to tell them something, it’s really hard to find the right words. But then when you’ve stumbled about looking for the words, sometimes that person, if they are a little bit special, will say some different words back at you, and those words will be even better and even more right than the not-quite-right words you said to begin with, and you know that that person understands you. Sometimes an unexpected person can explain what you mean much better than you can yourself.

  • Guest Blog Post on IHaveLynchSyndrome.com

    I wrote a guest post for Ihavelynchsyndrome.com! If you’re interested in me blabbering on about Lynch syndrome and self-improvement and so on, clicky here: http://www.ihavelynchsyndrome.com/10-truths-lynch-syndrome-guest-blogger-sam-rose/#.VOeJJfmsVqU