Writer, researcher, music lover, cancer survivor with CMMRD ("double" Lynch syndrome)

Tag: quiet

the socially awkward cycle

I think I feel self-conscious because I’m quiet. It’s not that I’m quiet because I’m anxious – my quietness is making me anxious. I am socially awkward because I am socially awkward. My very nature is doing this to me. What a riveting cycle.

I worry that when I’m quiet people will think I am boring and won’t want to hang around with me anymore. I don’t have any past experience to base this on except for one thing someone said about me and a friend parroted back to me when we were about seventeen. Yet it still makes me paranoid. So, that’s my personal discovery for the day, what was yours? Hopefully something a bit nicer.

weight

why
is silence made so heavy?
something
so quiet should be
               weightless
and
not a burden
               frowned upon by the
masses.
there
is a constant
                               pressure
to
change. 

I
just can’t.
                               and I’m not
sorry.

You could tell me being quiet isn’t a bad thing, but years and years and a whole childhood of being told otherwise means I’d never believe you.

Straightening out 10 assumptions* people make about me because I’m quiet, none of which are true

I’m not shy

I don’t have low confidence

I don’t prefer quiet environments

I am usually quite happy and cheerful

I don’t dislike you (probably)

I’m not bored (probably)

I’m not mysterious or thinking deep thoughts

I don’t need you to speak up for me or talk to other people for me

I don’t need you to help me to be louder or to invite me to talk

Calling me quiet like it’s a bad thing (or doing any of thesedoes make me want to hit you

*emphasis on the ASS

Add your own to this list in the comments!

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