Not when they put it in
Not when it pierces the skin
Not when you know this is just the beginning.
There must be something funny here.
But no; affix that blank expression to your face,
remove all trace of human. No-one must know
you’re actually feeling something.
Not without getting rid of this
and even then, you never really leave
this place, this bed, this mess
inside your head.
Not with this,
not without remembering,
not without wincing and covering
the crooks of your elbows
(was it the crook of the elbow?
It is hard to remember, my brain is
trying to protect me that much.
Always, and probably too much.
give me another cannula, please?
I had to go for a CT scan today. So, that’s what this was. (Written yesterday in “anticipation”.)