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time yet again to get on with
the important work of forgetting.
there’s no jab for not being able to breathe
no injection for anxiety
you just have to train yourself to
breathe again, like
you’ve never done it before.
concentrate like it’s hard
– because it is –
like your life depends on it
– because it does.
put all of your effort into this thing
that is coming so naturally to
everyone around you. this thing
that nobody else even has to think about
has to be the only thing you think about
until you don’t think about it anymore.
and who knows when that will be
or how you will get there?
How unfortunate for you
that you love this collection
of broken cells.
How unfortunate for me
that that’s all my body
is in my mind right now.
Maybe one day that will change.
Maybe not.
Hacked away at my side fringe because hey here’s something about my body I have control over and if it’s shit at least it’s like a scar other people can actually see and I did it and it’s MINE and if I did it badly I’m okay with that because at least it was me who did it.
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I am the person
I wanted to be.
I don’t mind being wrong.
you don’t have the
monopoly on grief
and neither do I.
we’re just
kicking up copper dust
and wishing we were high
going through the motions
as if that’s good enough.
there’s a competition in my head
to find out who’s more tough
and I’m winning, I’m winning
I’m stronger by far,
but we’re rooting for each other,
at least, in my head
we are.
I just found out that one of my short stories is being published in an online magazine in October!
This is awesome because I’m pretty proud of the story and have submitted it to a few places but it got rejected. Also it’s the first short story I’ve had published – usually I’m submitting poetry or the occasional memoir piece. So I’m really pleased!
The story is called ‘Mirrors’ and it’s going to be published in Scarlet Leaf Review. I’ve been feeling a bit run down today as well so this is a lovely bit of news to brighten up my day!
The stormy bank holiday when
plans fell through so it was
Scrabble and a fry up, lazy Saturday
afternoon with my legs outstretched
and your half of the sofa reclined, your
heartbeat reverberating through the
backs of my knees as you snored and I
watched easy tv
Issue one of The Creative Truth is out now! You can download a free PDF version, or support the journal by buying an even cooler print version! The print version is only £3.99 and you can get 25% off by using code AUG2016 at the checkout until 24th August! Thank you so much for your support – I’m really happy with how the first issue has turned out, and honoured that so many writers chose to share their stories with us.
‘easy, easy’
they say,
when nothing is easy
and my eye welcomes
the comfort of my
fingertip
and says this is a
pressing matter
and I’ve buried myself in bricks
for days
hard thoughts
heavy thoughts
thoughts that leave no room for
anything else at all
and I sink
and I sink
and my thoughts are nothing but
this
and the day comes that
I’ve been waiting for
and I’m going alone
like I wanted
but didn’t want
and it happens
and it’s okay
probably
maybe
and it’s over
and just like that
the bricks are gone
I’m still on my own
but comfortably so
and I can stand
and there is light
air all around
no dusk or dawn
just like a switch
midnight to midday sun
and everything feels fine –
until next time.
